THE Path Undetermined...Or MANY Paths?

ONE PATH OR MANY?

REACHING OUT AND FINDING HOPEFUL POSSIBILITIES
Life has been rather strange as of late. Of course we all know by now I lost my job. But simply put I am finding a sense of freedom. Certainly NOT financial freedom as I have quite little in the bank, cobra has not kicked in and no unemployment payments thanks to the inadequacy left behind. So I get the fear and anxiety nearly daily...or moments of it.

But there at least seems to be SOOOO many possibilities that have been hitting me left and right. None that has lead to me to get paid yet but things I enjoy doing none the less. I fear I may be following too many paths and I may need to give one up at some point. But that challenge would be welcomed because it would mean I am providing for my family once again.

First and foremost is my counseling practice. I have my Masters in Social Work and work with Seniors. I visit them in their homes and I love what I do. Bringing some peace to someone who is on the last miles of their life journey is extremely rewarding. I learn much from many of my clients as I hope they learn from me. This will work out for me as my primary job and source of income (I am a Medicare provider which most of my seniors are on) and in the meantime I am enjoying the creative process of "marketing" and "selling" myself. I gained much knowledge on my past job for this I am thankful. This time I get to do it MY way as I am the BOSS.

I am also feeling that I am getting to have some more creativity in my life along with being able to interact with so many different people (last job kept me isolated). I am hoping to always hold onto this as I feel it nurtures me through and through. If I can find a way to make money doing it great. I seem to be on a path for it to be mostly fun and some pocket change to boot. I am doing some freelance writing which allows me to do what I have loved and partly neglected...to write and even take photos to go along with my reading. Perhaps I can spend some time writing 'THAT BOOK".

While I am doing this and keeping busy I get to be a mom. I am home with my daughter while she is about to begin preschool part time. I get to drop her off and pick her up. I get to make play dates and work around my other projects. I get to make friends even! I know I have mentioned this before but my husband has a 'mild' seizure disorder due to a head injury (courtesy of Mr. Drunk Driver in 95), because of this we do not let him stay home alone with my daughter AND he is not able to drive until we get them under control again (three years working on this). So, I don't get to leave and go to a book club, volunteer, or attend a weight watchers meeting or a dinner/movie with a girlfriend unless I make other arrangements. Now I get about 12 hours to work AND play. How fun is that?! My daughter will only benefit from mommy taking care of herself.

So along with being a mom and wife....I declare its time to take care of me too! Here I come Weight Watchers and dare I say....gym!? Gasp. I have a free one in my development. Until I get super busy with my work, I need to take advantage of this new found time!

So you see the expression rings true...when one door closes another opens....or is it when one path begins several others branch off!?

MISERY LOVES COMPANY...EVERYONE SHOULD LOSE THEIR JOBS IN TWO'S

As my EX-COWORKER says, "It should be a law that you lose your job in two's", which is exactly what happened to us. On August 20th (the date I will always remember because it was my Grandpa's 90th Birthday that day), EV and I were marched into our boss' office and given the grim news of the fate of our positions....elimination. Reactions differ amongst people in these type of situations. Me...CRY, Ev...Whoa...slow down, what???? Yes, shock and awe as I stated in previous posts.

The good thing about this GROUP TERMINATION is that you have the opportunity to console one another, root each other on, and assist each other through the red tape of unemployment, cobra, and all that fun stuff.

Today I had the opportunity to 'work' a brief gig and was happy to share this job with my friend, EV. It was great working as a team. She knows my strengths and weakness' and vice verse. It was even better getting to spend some down time brainstorming on how to reinvent ourselves, what we think each other should do with our lives and how to go about getting this accomplished. Does Misery love company? Sure but Joy and Fun loves company even more.

After a really decent lunch we took ourselves to the outside lounge while listening to Coffee House on Sirius (my personal favorite), we laughed and laughed. Nothing like two girls with no place to be during work hours forgetting about how to pay the bills that are going to come in. See when the Miserable spend time together the end result can be joyous. Isn't that the beauty of time spent with girlfriends. Do guys have this much fun being miserable?

The Top 10 Reason Why Unemployment is NOT so Bad

Its been an interesting few weeks since I got layed off. The days pass with lots of paperwork, faxing, emailing, phone calls, networking and all that fun stuff that being unemployed includes. Am I scared out of my mind sometimes?! YES. Being the primary salary for our family I do not have the luxury to spend a lot of time 'off'. I am proud of myself as I have hit the ground running. Gave myself 1-2 days to cry, lay in the fetal position and wonder why me? I am drilling into my head "have faith". Its out of my control. I can only do what I can do so I shall at least find some reasons to enjoy my current situation. As I reinvent myself and build my counseling practice for Seniors, I hope to be able to be my own boss and have some independence while supporting my family. There are positives to this, And here is what I came up with...

10. I FINALLY GOT TO DO SPRING CLEANING. Thanks to my friend, I finally cleaned out my place. I am not done yet but I had about 6 bags of garbage and 20++ donation bags. It was cleansing to get rid of stuff I won't use again. A little sad as some of those items were Sophie's baby stuff.

9. MORE TIME TO COOK AND TRY RECIPES. Now I am a foodie by heart. Love to watch FoodNetwork, read Food Blogs, clip recipes. But working 50 hours a week did not allow a lot of time for that addiction. Now I have the chance to try the recipes I have been saving. Of course my main focus is Meals on a Budget that are healthy. Which brings me to to the next item....

8. FOCUS SOME TIME ON MYSELF AND GET HEALTHY. There really is no excuse other than its hotter than heck here. But its time. Time to get myself back to Weight Watchers and doing some activity. Its time to get healthy for me and my family.

7. DOCTORS DOCTORS AND MORE DOCTORS. In relation to item 8, I have neglected myself. Having a husband that cannot drive at the moment allows me little time to get myself to the doctors. I first take Sophie, than if I can squeeze in between all the hours of work I take hubby. I have kept up on my physicals but that is it. Now I need to do the things I really should have done a year or two ago (e.g. mammogram, skin doctor, dentist). I also need to focus on hubby and getting him better so he can maybe get his life back...this includes neurologist and more tests.

6. GET MY DAUGHTER READY FOR PRESCHOOL. Sophie starts pre-school part time in 2 weeks. OMG!!! Some energy is needed to get all the things I need to to make sure she is prepared. Including clothes, school materials, paperwork from the preschool, etc. Now instead of dropping her off and going to work all worried about how she is doing while my mom picks her up. I get to drop her off and pick her up without rushing to the office.

5. VOLUNTEER AT PRESCHOOL. Similar to item 6. I am so looking forward to volunteering for PTO. I have already selected committees I want to be a part of AND I spoke with her teacher and told her I am here to help with whatever. This is exciting to me as I never have a chance for volunteer work or time to meet with other mommy's and make friends. Usually I am running home to work or running to the office. This is going to be a new experience for me and I desperately need to make some girlfriends.

4. TIME FOR PLAYDATES. Working a 9-5 job (which was even more hours than that), does not allow you much opportunity to make playdates. Playdates is both important to child and parent. Luckily Sophie has a best friend whose mommy is one of my closest friends and comes over even while I am working at home so the girls could play. But now that Sophie starts school, she will meet other boys and girls and now instead of feeling bad that I cant make playdate arrangements I can schedule playdates on my down time around my work responsibilities cause I am my own boss.

3. MOMMY IS LESS STRESSED. Surprisingly the stress over how to pay the bills is there but not as strong as the stress mommy had with her job. I didn't even realize how stressed out I had been the past couple years. As I was burdened with more responsibilities at my job, the balancing act became very challenging and difficult. I would work my heart off for my job. I loved my job, but was rarely appreciated or thanked. Many times I felt like the office pooper scooper picking up all the work that no one else could do. I was stretched thin. I was stressed out and hubby and daughter sensed it. I tried to hide it but it did not work. Now I feel it myself, I feel myself breathing easier, I feel myself not getting upset over little things, I feel myself being in the moment more and I can imagine my 2.5 year old feels it too.

2. EXPLORING EXCITING OPPORTUNITIES. With this down time, while I network and build my practice and look for ways to make money for my family, I am getting opportunities to network with so many different people who bring innovation & creativity back to my life. I love writing and be a part of a creative community. I get to blog, do some freelance writing and dedicate some time to the creative side of me that is screaming for some 'air time' in my life. Now I have some time to allow myself the 'luxury' to do what I enjoy. Ok lets not go crazy, I still got a 2.5 year old but she starts part time preschool in 2 weeks!

1. BEING A MOMMY. We working moms know that often times we dream of being able to be a full time mommy. Some may not, some may be content with the working full time. Whatever works for you is whats best. For me, I dreamed of working but having enough independence that I did not have to ask someone to allow me time to take my daughter to an appointment or a playdate or just spend the day with her dressing up, reading, coloring, doing whatever her heart contents. Now I have that. Is it exhausting...You bet. I actually could use a 'day at the office'. LOL. Luckily I have grandma who is wiling to take her and give me a break (break = faxing resume, doing paperwork, calls, etc). So for now its the best of both worlds.

I hope to be able to have so much work that I have to learn how to balance again. And although I am having a GOOD DAY....There are still days filled with fear, anxiety, depression...But those days are getting less frequent. In the meantime, I get to enjoy my TOP TEN. Now if I can only figure out how I am going to pay the bills. Perhaps next TOP TEN should be about that! ;)