The Art of the Playdate

Tell me have you ever done the PLAYDATE DANCE?! Ever notice the politically correct balance you seem to dance with while at a playdate with your your preschool child?!  If we had a penny for each time we have either had to say share or hear another mommy say it we all would be able to take a cruise around the world indefinately.

What is it about the 2-3 year olds that make them instantly go for the same toy as soon as they get a sniff that the other is about to go for it.  I have seen the once sweet and gentle child tackle down their 'bestest friend' over a doll carriage or a phone or a...gasp...magic wand!

I prepare my daughter just before each playdate..."Now if you both want to play with the same toy....you find something else and can go back to that toy after your friend is done with it".  She recites it back to me "yes mommy and I will say please can I use it and not grab".  She knows the rules but the adrenaline gets the best of them. 

Luckily for me, I do have one of the more mellow kids and she typically will not resort to physical maneuvers to get what she wants...she will instead try to break the friend down (and the mom) with the whinning.

This is not a unique situation. In fact the following which I received from a mommy friend who got it from a mommy friend....says it best.

TODDLER'S RULES OF POSSESSION

1) If I like it, it's MINE

2) If it's in my hand, it's MINE
3) If I can take it from you, it's MINE
4) If I had it a little while ago, it's MINE

5) If it's MINE, it must never appear to be yours in any way

6) If i'm doing or building something, ALL the pieces are mine

7) If it looks just like mine, it's MINE

8) If I saw it first, it's MINE

9) If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes MINE

10) If it's broken, it's YOURS

No matter where you are in the world, we all deal with doing the Playdate Dance. It's a right of passage when leaving the parrallel play to the more interactive play.  We all have moments of feeling embarrased when our child doesn't share. And we all have felt frustration at playing with a child who never shares.  Its all part of the PLAYDATE DANCE....Take a deep breath, take your extra strength "patience pill", put on your dancing shoes and feel free to join in! At least their only arguing over toys and not...another deep gasp...boyfriends! or girlfriends!