CAN WE MAGIC ERASE MY DAY?
Have you ever have one of those days where you feel like you are the worst Mother known to mankind? Recently I had one of those days where you just wish you could take a Magic Eraser to the entire day and forget it ever happened.

It started out as an innocent "Stay in Pajama Sunday".  It is a rare treat that we are home for an entire day.  No birthday parties, no doctor appointments, no playdates, no errands. Just an entire day at home with hubby and my 3.5 year old.  We woke and I declared the day as "fun at home day". 

The goal was to stay at home, relax, recharge and just enjoy being with each other and if I could get a few loads of laundry done, cook dinner and do some light cleaning...even better.  So is it an oxymoron to use the words relax and a 3.5 year old in the same sentence?! What does a 3 year old know from kicking back and chilling out? I can't even get her to watch an entire Disney movie from beginning to end in one sitting, and I expected her to be ok with staying at home all day with no real concrete agenda for the day?!  Now mind you I was not planning on sitting in front of the television all day.  I had some semblance of an plan.  We were going to do arts & craft projects, we were going to play games as a family, build with Tinker Toys, read books, and whatever else met our fancy. We were going to be in the moment.  This is not a bad plan.  Not a bad plan at all.  And on most days it would have gone well and been quite enjoyable. Yet fun was not had by all on this particular stay at home day.

Replacing my day of "fun with the family" was a lot of whining (not only my 3 year old was responsible for this, her daddy seemed to do his fair share), a lot of "I'm hungry", a lot of not listening, a lot of getting hurt after mommy kept saying stop your going to get hurt, in essence a lot of butting heads, a lot of tears, a lot of "but mommy" and I confess some of my non-finest moments. 

As a mommy, we start each day with a fresh start. We hope to be the best parent we can be.  We want to encourage, empower, engage our little one.  I don't believe in hitting. I don't believe in it as an effective way of child rearing. I don't think children learn lessons from hitting. I am not perfect. Confession... I may not hit however, I may have on occasion pulled by child rather strongly into time out.  My downfall on a really bad day is raising my voice...ok yelling. 

Although my own mother does not recall, I come from a hot blooded family from Brooklyn where raising voices were not uncommon but love was abound.  I never questioned the love that surrounded me, however, raised voices were very common place when getting my mom's side of the family together, which was often.  I adored my Brooklyn family.  They made up some of my best childhood memories.  They had foibles and I loved them warts and all.

So yesterday was filled with some yelling moments.  We all have days like this? I have a 3 year old who is a pretty darn good kid. I know all mommy's think that of their child but she really has always given me little to stress about.  The "terrible two's" were a breeze. The 3's are currently whipping me a bit. The non listening and the apparent desire of said child to do what mommy said not to do just to get a reaction to mommy puts me in a tizzy at times. 

As my daughter is in school at this very moment, I have a few minutes to reflect on what I can learn from my failed day of family fun.  One of the important lessons I am trying to put into practice is "No lessons can be learned in the heat of the moment".   This is true.  When emotions are at a high for mommy and child it is the least effective time to teach anything.  I think one of the best tools of a mother is the art of distraction. It's like a ticking bomb. Decode, decipher, deflect...just get their minds off whatever it is that they are driven to do at that moment.  In other words, I am reminded to Give Peace a Chance.  Let the lessons we need to teach happen in the moments where our children and us as parents are peacefully engaged, and not when there is a battle of control. 

So moms and dads out there. If you are even reading this, tell me, do you have days you wish you could just erase?! How do you turn your worst parenting mistakes into lessons learned?! I'm not alone I know we all have days like I just had.  Thankfully, as this roller coaster known as Parenthood goes, we have ups and downs. I for one am thrilled most of my days are ups. And even on the downs, I continue to be thankful and am enjoying the ride.