Friday, July 24, 2009

Oh No! I Lost My Job!

PINK SLIP MONDAY - JULY 20thDeep breath. On Monday of this week, I was marched into my boss' office with my coworker and 'let go' due to financial reasons. I had worked for this non-profit for 10 Years. I did not see this coming for a split second. My own personal version of Shock and Awe.

My first reaction. Cry. I know such a lame reaction but the hurt I felt was and is profound. The way this 'letting go' was done was cold and impersonal. No thank you for your service. I had been with this organiztion for 10 years and seen it nearly triple in size. I had LOVED LOVED LOVED my job. I take it back. This was not just a job. It was in my heart. I believed in this organization and the people who volunteered for it. So hurt is an understatment.
As I bounce back and forth between the stages of grief as I truly lost my job. I am realizing each day that this recesssion is so widespread. More than I ever thought. People are coming out of the woodwork who were layed off, or took significant salary cuts. It seems its getting worse before it gets better which is what 'they' expected.
I am the primary breadwinner since my husband is currently disabled and unable to work or drive thanks to a drunk driver back in 95. The weight of the world is on my shoulders. But am I really worried? Not sure, I don't THINK so. You see I have a career to fall back on. I have my Masters in Social Work, I am licensed by my state of Florida. I work with seniors and I go to their home. I also am a medicare provider. I had a small practice before my daughter was born. I lost most of that practice when I went on bedrest during my diffiucult pregnancy. I never built it back up because my work at the non-profit kept me busy 24/7. Now I have the opportunity to be my own boss and make more money. I just need to get the clients.

I have quickly discovered there are some positives to this thing called unemployment. If I can get over the "how the heck am I going to pay the bills?". I can actually enjoy seeing straight. For so long I was a workhorse. I am a great employee to have as I tend to be OCD with my work. I am a loyal worker who does not take responsiblity lightly. I was in front of that computer 24/7 at home making sure I met deadlines, and I kept from drowning. I could barely keep my head above water. My workload kept getting bigger and bigger. I kept going and going. No time to stop and smell the roses.
One positive - I am the only driver in my house. I was having trouble keeping up with doctor appointments, lab work, tests, etc for both me and hubby as daughter is always first. So where are the plus side? I get to focus on hubby, getting him evaluated by a different doctor, brining him for tests and doctor visits to try to get his seizures under control so he can get out of the house and join the 'real world' once again (he hasn't been driving for 3 years now).

And yet another positive. I get to spend non-pressured fun time with daughter. On my first day of unemployement my daugther squeeled with joy and said "mommy, i so happy". Why? Because mommy was breathing again. Mommy was not running for the phone, leaving for an office, coming home late from work, or in front of my laptop. Mommy was being a full time mommy. And Sophie was eating it up.

So where do I go from here? I build my practice and network. Fate is playing a part in this as I met an intersting lead just my first day of unemployment. So I ordered my business cards, postcards, etc. I updated my resume. I filed for unemployment and I am creating a plan of action.

In the meantime I am selling Children's Books so if your interested visit http://heatco.barefootbooks.com/. (I know plug plug).

Oh and another plus...I have more time to post here! Now if I can just get some readers!!!!LOL