Happy New Year!

If anyone out there is reading my blog I just wanted to say I will be back. I enrolled little one in preschool 5 days (at her request and my need to work more) so I plan on dedicating myself more to my blogging because it's a love of mine but like many things we enjoy doing for ourselves seems to fall down the prority ladder. In the meantime, I wanted to take this time to wish everyone a very Happy New Year! May this year be filled with much peace, love and happiness. See you next year!

Whatever Happend to Pin the Tail on the Donkey?!

Happy 4th Birthday Little One!!
Ok folks, I won't even get into to what a bad blogger I am. Hanging head in shame at how long it took me to get to a blog entry. For a more experienced Blogger, you may want to look elsewhere. AND I am not going to even touch the fact that the past 4 years flew by as I am not in the mood to cry over how my baby is all grown up. However, I am just recovering from my daughter's 4th Birthday....Party. Let me preface this all by saying. IT WAS A BLAST! She had such a wonderful birthday weekend. Starting with a party for 35 friends and family at an indoor gym called Latte Fun, followed by the next day, her actual birthday, family brunch and celebrating with family.

This was the first 'Real' birthday party for her.  For her 1st I had a family blowout. For her 2nd & 3rd, family brunch followed by trip to Disney (We live in South Florida, its a 3 hour trek).  This year was her first real birthday party with her friends.

I enjoy making my daughter happy, but party planning may not be my strongest skill.  Perhaps if I was not working and trying to build my business, I would have more time and patience. Probably not. Personalized Invites. Check. Hello Kitty Cake. Check.  Food ordered. Check. Party bags for boys and girls for over 3 and under 3. Check check check.  Birthday outfit for birthday girl. Check. Balloons. Check.  Presents for birthday girl. Check. Did I forget anything?! Apparently not, however, I was too late to order that Pinata that apparently she likes but I didn't realize till 2 days before the party and the facility said no can do. Uncheck.

What I want to know is what happened to the simple times. The HOME parties? The homemade cakes or cupcakes? The dancing in the family room or basement? and Pin the Tail on the Donkey. The less expensive parties?! Ok I am sure the planning for these parties were probably more involved than what I did (the indoor gym took care of a lot but not everything) but the expense for this party was shocking.  I probably paid about $900 for the party and related items (not including her American Girl doll ;) ).  However, after speaking to a friend recently I hear that home parties are JUST as expensive.  I don't have a big enough home to house my little one's friends, hence this choice is not really an option anyways.

Is she worth it!? Of course! 10 Million times over!! Will I have that big of a party every year. Of course NOT. But to see my beautiful daughter beaming with joy while playing with her classmates, her camp friends, her friends since she was a baby, her cousins....PRICELESS.

So looking forward..Small Party? Just Girls? Well....I just attended this fabulous Princess Birthday in a the Princess room of this place, which had a castle and trees, and was simply gorgeous...See I can't help myself. It's starting already. Let me introduce myself, "Hi I am Heather and I am a Birthday Party Addict".  Someone throw me the rope and pull me in I may just be sinking!


NEXT SUBJECT: How to Raise a Non-Entitled Child.  Get your advice ready!

Boogie Wipes not just for kids!

I'll make this quick and easy.  Boogie Wipes - Gentle Saline Wipes for Stuffy Noses- Great Grape Scent is a gift from God. 

I had used these when my little one was a bit younger, but the non-grape scent. At the time I thought they were good but no different than using a wipe. Now the Grape Scented ones have me hooked and has made me revisit my earlier thoughts on this product.  The Grape scent is light and sweet and just enough to make that blowing or wiping a little more pleasant. The size of the wipe, when unfolded, is perfect for those bigger blows.

The package indicates use of this product is best for those dried up tough boogies.  Ok...stop here. I cannot believe I am dedicating an entire blog entry to boogers. This is the life of a mom who happens to blog I suppose. I shall proceed. I have found these wipes to be just as effective when my little one has a wetter cold and not just for dried boogies. I love these wipes because of the 3 "S"'s...Size, Softness, and Scent and the fact that I don't seem to have to beg my child to blow or wipe any longer.

The marketing of this product seems to be slanted towards babies.  Their logo has adorable boy and girl baby faces popping out of the O's in Boogie.  I assure you this product can be used for Toddlers, older kids and even Adults.

Another plus for this product it was created by MOMS.  I love products and companies founded by moms.  Girl Power. I love supporting our entrepreneurial moms.

This past week this mommy has been attacked by the bug that seems to be going around.  My cold is both stuffy and runny at times.  I reached for the Boogie Wipes and not only am I enjoying that breeze of grape yumminess everytime I blow but also my nose is soft and not that usual mess of a nose that is produced from a cold as this wipe truly is moisturizing as I wipe.  A big plus.

Not all children products are for kids alone.  Now if only the people at Little Busy Bodies, Inc. would read this and heed my only complaint...please put more than 30 wipes in a package.  This momma is going through them way too fast!!

CAN WE MAGIC ERASE MY DAY?
Have you ever have one of those days where you feel like you are the worst Mother known to mankind? Recently I had one of those days where you just wish you could take a Magic Eraser to the entire day and forget it ever happened.

It started out as an innocent "Stay in Pajama Sunday".  It is a rare treat that we are home for an entire day.  No birthday parties, no doctor appointments, no playdates, no errands. Just an entire day at home with hubby and my 3.5 year old.  We woke and I declared the day as "fun at home day". 

The goal was to stay at home, relax, recharge and just enjoy being with each other and if I could get a few loads of laundry done, cook dinner and do some light cleaning...even better.  So is it an oxymoron to use the words relax and a 3.5 year old in the same sentence?! What does a 3 year old know from kicking back and chilling out? I can't even get her to watch an entire Disney movie from beginning to end in one sitting, and I expected her to be ok with staying at home all day with no real concrete agenda for the day?!  Now mind you I was not planning on sitting in front of the television all day.  I had some semblance of an plan.  We were going to do arts & craft projects, we were going to play games as a family, build with Tinker Toys, read books, and whatever else met our fancy. We were going to be in the moment.  This is not a bad plan.  Not a bad plan at all.  And on most days it would have gone well and been quite enjoyable. Yet fun was not had by all on this particular stay at home day.

Replacing my day of "fun with the family" was a lot of whining (not only my 3 year old was responsible for this, her daddy seemed to do his fair share), a lot of "I'm hungry", a lot of not listening, a lot of getting hurt after mommy kept saying stop your going to get hurt, in essence a lot of butting heads, a lot of tears, a lot of "but mommy" and I confess some of my non-finest moments. 

As a mommy, we start each day with a fresh start. We hope to be the best parent we can be.  We want to encourage, empower, engage our little one.  I don't believe in hitting. I don't believe in it as an effective way of child rearing. I don't think children learn lessons from hitting. I am not perfect. Confession... I may not hit however, I may have on occasion pulled by child rather strongly into time out.  My downfall on a really bad day is raising my voice...ok yelling. 

Although my own mother does not recall, I come from a hot blooded family from Brooklyn where raising voices were not uncommon but love was abound.  I never questioned the love that surrounded me, however, raised voices were very common place when getting my mom's side of the family together, which was often.  I adored my Brooklyn family.  They made up some of my best childhood memories.  They had foibles and I loved them warts and all.

So yesterday was filled with some yelling moments.  We all have days like this? I have a 3 year old who is a pretty darn good kid. I know all mommy's think that of their child but she really has always given me little to stress about.  The "terrible two's" were a breeze. The 3's are currently whipping me a bit. The non listening and the apparent desire of said child to do what mommy said not to do just to get a reaction to mommy puts me in a tizzy at times. 

As my daughter is in school at this very moment, I have a few minutes to reflect on what I can learn from my failed day of family fun.  One of the important lessons I am trying to put into practice is "No lessons can be learned in the heat of the moment".   This is true.  When emotions are at a high for mommy and child it is the least effective time to teach anything.  I think one of the best tools of a mother is the art of distraction. It's like a ticking bomb. Decode, decipher, deflect...just get their minds off whatever it is that they are driven to do at that moment.  In other words, I am reminded to Give Peace a Chance.  Let the lessons we need to teach happen in the moments where our children and us as parents are peacefully engaged, and not when there is a battle of control. 

So moms and dads out there. If you are even reading this, tell me, do you have days you wish you could just erase?! How do you turn your worst parenting mistakes into lessons learned?! I'm not alone I know we all have days like I just had.  Thankfully, as this roller coaster known as Parenthood goes, we have ups and downs. I for one am thrilled most of my days are ups. And even on the downs, I continue to be thankful and am enjoying the ride.

The Art of the Playdate

Tell me have you ever done the PLAYDATE DANCE?! Ever notice the politically correct balance you seem to dance with while at a playdate with your your preschool child?!  If we had a penny for each time we have either had to say share or hear another mommy say it we all would be able to take a cruise around the world indefinately.

What is it about the 2-3 year olds that make them instantly go for the same toy as soon as they get a sniff that the other is about to go for it.  I have seen the once sweet and gentle child tackle down their 'bestest friend' over a doll carriage or a phone or a...gasp...magic wand!

I prepare my daughter just before each playdate..."Now if you both want to play with the same toy....you find something else and can go back to that toy after your friend is done with it".  She recites it back to me "yes mommy and I will say please can I use it and not grab".  She knows the rules but the adrenaline gets the best of them. 

Luckily for me, I do have one of the more mellow kids and she typically will not resort to physical maneuvers to get what she wants...she will instead try to break the friend down (and the mom) with the whinning.

This is not a unique situation. In fact the following which I received from a mommy friend who got it from a mommy friend....says it best.

TODDLER'S RULES OF POSSESSION

1) If I like it, it's MINE

2) If it's in my hand, it's MINE
3) If I can take it from you, it's MINE
4) If I had it a little while ago, it's MINE

5) If it's MINE, it must never appear to be yours in any way

6) If i'm doing or building something, ALL the pieces are mine

7) If it looks just like mine, it's MINE

8) If I saw it first, it's MINE

9) If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes MINE

10) If it's broken, it's YOURS

No matter where you are in the world, we all deal with doing the Playdate Dance. It's a right of passage when leaving the parrallel play to the more interactive play.  We all have moments of feeling embarrased when our child doesn't share. And we all have felt frustration at playing with a child who never shares.  Its all part of the PLAYDATE DANCE....Take a deep breath, take your extra strength "patience pill", put on your dancing shoes and feel free to join in! At least their only arguing over toys and not...another deep gasp...boyfriends! or girlfriends!

Wow It's A New Year...

WELCOME 2010. I AM READY....
I THINK!
I am the worst blogger. Go ahead, its ok. Let me have it.  I have a new found regard for you mommy bloggers who keep up with your blogging. Life has kept me beyond busy as the rest of you. I begin my fog like state early September and wake up early January...each year. This year I had more than the ordinary keeping me busy as well. 2009 was about reinventing myself professionally and as a mommy. I lost my job, jump started my actual career, became a mommy of a preschooler and all that has to offer and I remained a wife to a husband with a disability   Oh and of course 16 days before 2010 arrived I became 40.

So far 2010 has not been good to my pets and I pray that changes next week.  Early in 2010 we lost our 17 year old cat, Misha. She died peacefully in my arms at the clinic just as I was just about to put her down. Wow. And recently I received news my 11 1/2 yr old Golden Retriever Cobey (who had surgery last week to remove a growth from his foot) had a cancerous tumor.  We go next week for an ultrasound of his spleen as there was a nodule there and we are checking for any changes.  Something weighing on my mind daily.  I recieved this information all the while my husband lay in an Epilepsy Study Center in a hospital, trying to get a better idea and  better treatment for his seizures (related to his car accident in 1995 thanks to a drunk driver).  Its been a rough start of the New Year but I am still optimistic as heck about 2010. I am going to claim the year as MY YEAR.

Of course that does not mean I stop taking care of the Daughter and Husband. It does mean though I start focusing on my health.  It's a must.  I can't ignore myself anymore. I want to be there for my daughter for a long and beautiful life.  I went on an anti depressant about 8 months ago due to stress/depression over the responsibilities I had to my family.  The weight of the responsibility was heavy on my shoulders and I needed some help in coping better. Ironically....this led to a more weighty situation....

I had  been on an antidepressant for 8 months 13 years ago. It worked well and I did fine with a short term therapy of this medication.  This time around I noticed something different.  A rather rapid weight gain. 40lbs in a little over a year! That has not happened except when I was pregnant with my RoRo.  Also, had a physical exam and my thyroid is underactive. The combination of the two may have put my body in a tailspin.  Its time. I am doing further testing on the thyroid so we will see if meds are necessary. I joined Weight Watchers. Its time. It has to be now.  Who else is on board!?!? It's ok if you have made this resolution before. Maybe this time your even more ready. Come join me. Let the fun begin!!! Keep you posted more often. I promise. Scratch that... I hope. I wouldn't want to break a promise! In the meantime keep your fingers crossed we have some more time with our love of a dog, Cobey. Thanks for the support!